“I Saw ‘Mione kissin Santa Clause”
by Monkeystarz
Summary: Miss I-Know-Everything-But-You-Better-Be-Grateful-For-It-Or-Else-Your-Fail was waiting for the one and only, St.Nick." Yup! You read correctly Hermione's waiting for Santa why? WHY? W-H-Y read and find out o-o


**A/N: I got this idea whilst listening to a strange version of this song. . I'm not sure of the pairing yet.. I'll figure it out once im done typing MerryX-mas/Hannaka/Kwanza/Holidays! Short lil' one-shot!**

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"I Saw 'Mione kissin Santa Clause"

She paced the head's common room in utter annoyance. It was Christmas eve. Where the heck was he? 11:00! It was 11:00! If not all ready past it. She'd show those stupid students…. she'd show them all….

Who, might one ask, whom was she talking about? Why was she so aggravated that this certain someone was not there? Who could be so important that Hermione Granger paced? Who was defiantly not a grade…. or a project… or an essay. No, no those were things. Actually if you want to be specific they are nouns, like this person is a noun, so there was something in common between them all.

She checked the huge clock and groaned. WHERE WAS HE!!!!!! She slumped onto the couch and glared at any random object (besides books) that caught her eyes.

She wrote him the note. "I _know_ he got the note." She wondered aloud. "This is all I asked for Christmas! I hope I didn't make a fool of myself." She blushed slightly and looked at the fireplace in dismay.

Perhaps he wouldn't make this exception… perhaps he would ignore the note and wait. "But how could he do that to me? I've been faithful to him for years!!! He wouldn't dare do this to me…"

She started to tap her foot rhythmaticly. Partially out of annoyance and partially because of some random Christmas tune playing in her head. Repeating it over and over. It was a muggle song, but she couldn't place her finger on the name.

"Where are you?" she asked aloud. "Where are you Santa?!"

Yes, Miss I-Know-Everything-But-You-Better-Be-Grateful-For-It-Or-Else-Your-Fail was waiting for the one and only, St.Nick.

Of course she knew the rules about "You have to be asleep when he comes." Yet, she couldn't be asleep. She had to prove a point to her mocking schoolmates who laughed and scoffed at her when she told them of her well-kept secret. No one would suspect her to be writing a Christmas list to Santa, instead of doing homework.

It was a great disguise for the past six years. But keeping a secret from her friends was starting to hurt her. So she did the only natural thing and told them in a soft whisper in the most secluded spot she could find.

So in Dumbledores wise words, "The whole school knows." And a bet was set up.

Hermione had to get proof that Santa existed. If she could prove he existed then everyone would believe her and he or she'd never bring it up again. If she couldn't, well that was a scary thought.

Now, Hermione was probably the oldest person in a long time to actually believe in Jolly old Nicholas. So she knew all the rules, as stated above, so Ms.Granger decided to write Santa a letter, and she practically begged him to come around 11:00-midnight and just to let her catch a glimpse of him, and a photograph.

She never got a letter back, that's not how Santa worked, so she just decided he had agreed.

Now that it was nearing 11:30 she stated to get even more scared. "What if Santa wasn't going to come?" She'd be crestfallen and hurt! She needed Santa to come! She absolutely needed him!

She shook her head and looked at a door that lead to another room. She knew that a Mr.Malfoy was sleeping in there, or snickering. All snug in his bed with out a worry in his little blonde thick head.

"Stupid git, nothing was ever wrong with him. He always got what he wanted. Always."

All she wanted was Santa. That's all she was asking for. Just a little proof that he existed, so small and minimal it was nothing compared to the extravagance of Draco!

"Perhaps, if I think of someone besides Santa it will calm me down." So her mind drifted to Harry and Ron.

Ron was now going out with Luna Lovegood. She scrunched her nose at this, not in jealousy; no she just never figured _they_ would be a couple. No never in her life would she have guessed. But Ron seemed head over heels in love with her so Hermione was kind and said nothing.

Harry had just recently broken up with 6 girls in the last month. He wasn't keeping a relationship too long. As one could all ready tell. It's not that he was a playboy its just that he couldn't find the _one_. The longest girlfriend he'd ever had was Cho Chang now she was getting married to a Mr. Oliver Wood.

After Cho Chang was a certain red head. Miss Ginny Weasly who seemed to have several different personalities. This fiery but sweet red-head only kept Harry occupied for two months before they both kind of drifted apart.

Now Ginny remains in the arms of Dean, much to Rons dismay.

After Ginny was Lavender. That didn't last long due to the fact that she kept predicting his death and he didn't find that too attractive in a girl. Now, well will get to that in a second.

After Lavender was her best friend, Pav as everyone now calls her. That didn't last long either because Lavender was insanely jealous and kept trying to kill Harry.

Now Pav and Lavender decided that they are bi and reside in each other's arms. Much to the whole schools dismay. We figure they'll figure out something and come back to their senses.

In the last month hes gone out with Padma Patil, Hannah Abbot, Ronda Renaldo

(Hufflepuff w/ a pixie nose. I'm so jealous of that nose.), Susan Bones, Chrissie Thomas, And Teddy. She doesn't have a last name. WE don't even think Teddy was her first name.

Well all these relationships ended in disaster and practically all tearful on the female part. But they got bragging rights!

"I got to date Harry Potter!"

"Is he a good kisser?"

"Well- heh heh.. we didn't get that far…"

"But you dated him!"

But they dated him. That's better then our dear old love sick Granger. Who now was gloomier then ever.

It was Midnight and she was short one piece of evidence and one Santa.

Looking over at the Christmas tree she sighed, "Maybe he isn't real…"

Then as if the world was incredibly perfect, she heard a boom! And a cloud of smoke billowed out from the chimney… well ok so it was floo powder but lets not ruin the suspense.

And out-stepped from the fireplace was none other then a badly dressed Santa. It looked like he was a young man dressed up in a costume!

Hermione's eyes widened in shock. He was here! Santa was here!

Then she stopped herself from jumping up as she scrutinized 'Santa' more thoroughly.

When did Santa get unruly black streaks of hair on his head?

When did he wear Harry's glasses?

Why are his eyes green? I always thought he'd look more like Dumbledore, not like……like…..Harry!

Santa did look a lot like Harry…. The resemblance was incredibly uncanny!

"Ho. Ho.Ho Merry Christmas!" His rather.. strange voice declared.

This was no Santa he was an imposter! But who? Who would pretend to be Santa?

What evil creature could disturb her dreams?

In all her confusion she surveyed the room. A Christmas tree in a corner, mistletoe over the fireplace, garland running all through the rafters of the ceiling, lights all over the place, a toy train ran through the air it was silent know but when it was day it would give off a gleeful "Choo Choo", and Santa stood in her living room.

"No," she corrected herself "an imposter Santa!"

"H-Ho-Ho…ho?" 'Santa' trailed off as he saw her scrutinizing him. 'Uh-oh' he thought

"Who are you?" her voice said lightly but confusion mixed into it.

"I-I'm Santa of course! Don't ya know me gal?" he tried not to laugh at the way he said 'gal'.

"Your not Santa. Santa does not look like you."

He coughed uncomfortably and tried to turn his head.

Hermione stood off the couch inching closer to him cautiously. What if he tried to kill her? She'd scream. Draco wouldn't be of any help he'd merely just egg this murderer on. AS she got closer she tried to guess who he was. Green eyes, black hair, glasses. "Who could he be?" she asked herself.

'Santa' shifted uncomfortably watching her get closer. Maybe his disguise wasn't very well, but he tried!

She got closer and closer and closer and closer. Until she was right under his nose. Literally. He wasn't too tall but he towered over her petite form.

"Who are you, really?"

He knew it was over, well he tried. "Listen Hermione I was only trying to help. I mean please don't be angry I-"

He was cut off as her eyes widened in realization. "Wonder what she realized" he asked himself.

Her eyes seemed to be looking passed him so he looked up to and turned beat red.

She forgot about the mistletoe.

He looked back down at her and kind of shifted again to where he could see her better. "Hermione?"

"Even though I have no clue who you are…"

"Hermione?!"

"It is tradition…"

"You don't know who I am?!"

"And Tradition cant be destroyed…" she licked her lips unconsciously

"Who am I 'Mione?!"

She got on her tiptoes and tenderly placed her lips on his in a slow kiss. They broke away after a second.

"Merry Christmas Harry- I mean Santa."

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Nearby looking through the eyes of a portrait a certain ferrate sniggered and listened as the irony of a tune hit him.. "I Saw Mommy kissin Santa Clause, underneath the mistletoe last night…."

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Hermione smiled up at him with her dazzling teeth and Harry couldn't help but smile back. She went like she was about to move and Harry gripped her arm, and tugged his fake hair off. "Don't move."

So they stayed underneath the mistletoe. O-o For a very long time.

She never got her proof.

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Due to the fact that she had no proof Hermione Jane Granger had to do the whole Gryffendor and some Hufflepuffs potions essays for a month. Her hand hurt and so did her brain, but she still had a little time to go on dates with her best friend.

Oh, and Draco got slapped across the face because at about 3:00 in the morning on that fateful day he ran out and asked if they wanted him to levitate them into her room.

His quote on the matter, "Gee! When I try to do something nice…"

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**A/N: Merry Christmas! Hope you liked it .**


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